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The Barrovian Index: Chris Taylor

11 May 2021

A photograph of Barrow midfielder Chris Taylor Prime Media
Chris Taylor in action for Barrow

The Barrovian Index: Chris Taylor

11 May 2021

Chris Taylor picks out 20 of our Barrovian Index questions at random from our collection of 100 and then does his best to entertain us with his answers – and he doesn’t do a bad job either…

This feature was first published in our Matchday Programme for the game against Carlisle United in April.

99 What would you give yourself as a rating out of 10?
Flippin heck, what a question to start! Before the lockdown I would have probably gone for about a 9.2 but I think the last year has taken a bit of the shine off me so I think I will go 8.8. It’s dropped a little – sorry to disappoint the females! Haha!

7 Have you got any pets?
I have, I have got one cat called Tilly. She drives my missus up the wall and she sleeps everywhere she’s not allowed to but, in the main, she’s very loved.

33 Can you do any decent impressions?
Haha, I can do a couple. Some of the lads that know me will know I can do a pretty good John Sheridan. I have played under him for so long that I know his little sayings so I can do a decent Shez – all the lads who have played with me in the past know that too!

56 What’s been your best fancy dress costume?
I have done a few over the years but the one that comes to mind is when I dressed as Ali G a few years ago. I had all the yellow Velcro stuff on, with the gold rings, chains and glasses. I went to Dublin as Del Boy one year as well, and I just kept opening my coat to show all the snide watches I had inside! Haha!

38 If we made a film about your life who would you choose to play the lead role?
Haha, I would go for Alan off The Hangover. I reckon he could have a good go at playing the role!

82 Which app on your phone do you use the most?
I would say WhatsApp is the one I use the most, probably followed by Instragram and then the Sky Sports app.

47 What was the most daring thing you’ve ever done?
It was probably on my stag do when I wore just my little Ali G slips to a pool party. There wasn’t a lot hanging down to back me up, so I was pretty nervous getting ready that night. I didn’t enjoy it at all.

25 What would you sing on a karaoke?
I do like a bit of Ronan Keating. I would go for ‘I Want It That Way’. I don’t mind having a go on the karaoke if there’s one going on in a bar. To be fair, everyone tells me I look like a young Ronan as well.

11 What one thing do you get the micky taken out of your about more than anything else?
Probably when I was younger and I used to have really long hair. I got called all sorts back then – Emily Bishop, a scarecrow, Shaggy of Scooby Doo, there were loads! My barnet was big and ginger, and I used to get hammered but I was too young to care and only got it cut once a year!

39 What would your perfect bar look like?
It would have a karaoke going on right next to the bar, firstly. There’d be lots of jaeger bombs already on tap because I always want people to loosen up when they’re enjoying themselves and jaeger bombs do that. Then I would have a pool table and a dart board as well.

77 What is your drink of choice on a night out?
If I had to pick one, I would probably go for Mixed Fruits Kopparberg. That’s probably my go-to drink on a night out but you can only really have three or four because it’s so sweet so I would move on to something stronger later in the night.

30 When were you last nervous?
Probably when I had to get up and sing in front of the lads when I signed for Barrow. I went with ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis but you always feel nervous having to get up and sing in front of your teammates – that’s why so many people end up paying a fine instead!

51 Would you rather be too hot or too cold?
Too cold, 100%. Ask any of the lads and they will tell you I love getting in the ice baths after a game. I don’t mind the cold, really. I think being brought up in Oldham where it’s minus six on a daily basis helped with that!

44 Have you got any bad habits?
Probably, yeah! Haha. Sometimes I pick my nose and flick it, that’s a bad one isn’t it? Or if there is someone I don’t like following me into a toilet I might not flush… Haha!

63 What’s your favourite pizza topping?
I like a Meat Feast. Just stack all the meat on there with a barbecue base underneath and no vegetables – I will get stuck right into that.

1 What’s your biggest fear?
Heights. And lifts, I don’t like going in lifts. I got trapped in a lift for half an hour once and I think I was having a panic attack by the time I got out. It just kept going up and down and I could see people through the crack in the doors, but they thought I was messing about and doing it on purpose until I started shouting for help. Ever since then I have hated them and sprint out of a lift as soon as the doors open.

88 Who in the squad would you not like to have to fight?
Before Calvin Andrew signed, it would have probably been Platty just because of the size of his head! If he hits you with that head, you’d be done – he’s got a head like a bison! Honestly, one headbutt off Platty and it would be over.

42 What are your favourite sweets?
I do like a packet of Sports Mix on an away trip, just to chew on while we’re travelling down on the bus. They’re my favourite sweets, I would say.

27 Are you any good at any other sports?
Honestly? Not really. I do play golf quite a lot with the lads but I am terrible at it so I go more for the craic and the banter on the way round. Golf is the one I enjoy most, but I am just not very good at it.

76 Did you ever star in a school play?
I was in school plays, but I can’t say I was ever the star! I was always in the background and out of the way as much as possible. I remember having a small role in a nativity style play, but I can’t sit still for very long so if I’d been on stage too much I would probably have two-footed one of the sheep! I am convinced the teachers used to get me on stage just long enough to tick a box and so my parents could see me and then they were like “Right, quick, get him off the stage right now!” Haha!

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